"Nothing Good Happens After Midnight"

These are the words of advice that my Dad always shared with us.  It turns out my wife's Dad said the same thing. As a special day such as father's day is now come and gone, I'd like to shares some of the best pieces of advice I have gotten from Pops Ruiz!  Now he didn't necessarily "say" all of these, but this is the interpretation by Schmalex.

There is no top ten list, but here are some of my favorites. (my two cents in parentheses)

• If its not a hammer don't use it as a hammer (but it worked)
• Doing it yourself will save you lots of money (he never mentioned the time lost though)
• knowing why not to use metric wrenches on standard bolt (OOPS! Now how how we gonna get the oil out, Dad?)
• What a tap and die set is used for (Almost everything can be fixed)
• Help others even if they don't always help themselves (I try)
• Cherish family, (even the ones you don't really know well or like that much)
• They don't make 'em like they used to (this refers to cars mostly)
• Growing your own food saves money (again the time thing, oh and he has a green thumb I did not inherit)
• Care for your animals because they are your companions and mostly can't do it themselves
• Money doesn't make you happy (But it feeds 3 growing boys, along with the garden of course)
• Maintain your vehicles.  It will save you money.  (Trust me, he's right)
• ALWAYS take care of Mom! 

Thank you for always being able to fix it or make it better.  Learning how to use tools and common sense has carried me further in my life than all the education the schools you sent me to put together. (rural public HS and state university, but still its a lot).  I believe my wife, Bethany, would agree that you made me into the man I am still learning to be today.  Well at least the great parts.  

Speaking of my other side of the family.  I have been a lucky SOB most of my life. Now I may have cashed in all my lucky coins to marry my wife, but I must have had some in reserves because I have amazingly great in-laws.  My father-in-law, Lyle, is not only a brilliant common sense thinker, but a hilarious man!  Some of the stories he shares can't be done justice on a re-tell just because of his delivery.  He has shown me how to have great patience (he had 3 daughters) and a "know when to hold 'em" approach.  Growing up with brothers, you just throw down because something they do pisses you off.  Getting married taught me that this isn't a good approach.  Simple pieces of advice from Lyle have led me to understand a microcosm of the female thinking that can possibly save me a silent treatment kind of day. 

Some examples include:

• Have grandkids so I can spoil the hell out of them
• Tell your wife that is "woman's work" (run like hell and laugh maniacally) 
• Don't listen to them, the steaks are not overcooked (on the grill of course)
• Momma's loaded! (Bethany loves it when I use this one)
• Get the animal the comfort package (even if you don't like the furry bastards)
• Upgrade the warranty (Saves time working on my own shit)
• Buy yourself the Christmas gifts you really want (this actually is true of both dads)
• Don't always ask for permission, but always ask for forgiveness! (especially when spending money)

I hope that these lists help clarify the Schmalex a little bit, and why I am mostly the way I am.  For the parts not yet described, these will come at a later time, when I am having either a moment of clarity or utterly chaotic day.  Either way I hope its entertaining to re-read.