I am not one that likes to follow rules. As a matter of fact, I prefer to break them. I do live by my own set of rules though. I follow these because they actually make sense to me. Here is my list that I try to stick to:
1. Respect your elders – They put up with your shit, so say thank you.
2. Don’t be a pussy. If it bothers you speak up.
3. Help those that help themselves (especially if they share the beer they helped themselves to)
4. Don’t talk politics (with close minded people)
5. Don’t talk religion (especially with zealots/nondenominational churchgoers/soapbox preachers)
6. Avoid stupid people (I spend a lot of time alone)
7. Don’t argue sports (with stupid and close minded people)
a. See 8. Stay positive (until 3rd Out Amigos Raburn/Inge/Kelly comes to bat)
9. Don’t bash any Tigers players. Cheer all wins
10. Break rules
Now rule 10 allows the contradictory views of other rules. This is part of the beauty of being the Schmalex. I can’t say that most people don’t do the same, but Rule #2 is one that I have lightened up on as I have gotten older. Sometimes it coincides with #’s 4 & 5.
I like to voice my opinion and I like a great discussion, but when you get into an argument with those that don’t respect your voice, conversation over. I used to get into heated discussions (usually after many beers) about sports, and sometimes politics. I have the knowledge for the talk, but sometimes I agitate just because it seems like a fun time. Not always the case it turns out. Some people get really pissed and I think they hold on to the thought that this is my only true opinion. In fact I was just trying to get them to open their mind. Hell, sometimes I agree with the village idiot. But agreement leads to boring conversation.
Let’s compare the same conversation with me agreeing and then being devils’ advocate. Let’s take a recent sporting news story and see how it relates
Convo #1 Agreement
Me: So, Pryor really is something
OSU fan: Yeah what he did was dumb, but he should do okay in the NFL. I don’t understand how the NFL gave him the 5 game suspension.
Me: Yeah who the heck does the NFL think they are policing the NCAA?
OSU fan: Our school is targeted for violations because we are so big, you know.
Me: Well it is happening to many schools now to remove the bad eggs.
Convo #2 Pissing Off
Me: So, Pryor really is something
OSU fan: Yeah what he did was dumb, but he should do okay in the NFL. I don’t understand how the NFL gave him the 5 game suspension.
Me: Shit, that punk shouldn’t have even been in the supplemental draft. Your OSU program has been a turmoil filled mess since Tressel Vest took over. How many arrests have there been in his tenure? On the bright side, sales of guns and cars have gone through the roof in Columbus.
OSU fan: *deep breath/red faced* What the hell do you know? We won so many championships that we don’t have to answer to anybody. We are the greatest fans in the country and everybody else just sucks. *middle finger goes up*
Me: Fuck OSU and fuck you.
Conversation OVER!
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